My questioning had all started at the end of my 8th grade. It seemed like there has been a thought at the back of my mind. I could never really figure it out what it exactly was. I have heard the term gay a few times and I did not fully understand it. I remember when I was younger having an attraction to certain girls and my younger self thought that it was that I really wanted to be close friends with them. Little did I know it was actually me having a crush on them. I'm not very certain on how I came across the term bisexual. At first I thought nothing of it, but as time progressed it was more and more on my mind. The more I thought of it the more I was in confusion. I tried my best to repress it and move on.
With having this thought to myself, I was going crazy. It was not something that I could repress no matter how hard I tried. I thought it was the best idea to tell my best friend. I was very anxious and I kept delaying telling her until I had finally spit out the words "I need to talk to you". That was the point of no return. She had asked me what was wrong. After a lot of me trying to talk, but not being able to. She asked me if I was gay and I had told her that I thought I was bisexual. I felt amazing after, it was an incredible feeling. Until I found out that she told her mom who told my mom. Long story short I had a long conversation with my mom about my sexuality.
After that conversation I started to question myself even more. I had to ignore it again and I was able to leave that thought for a little bit until I started high school. But high school was where I started to accept myself more and more. I was completely fine with my sexuality in the middle of 10th grade. I was always told that your worst critique is yourself and it 100% true.
Here's a video made by Buzzfeed that really show the figuring out process.
This is a really sweet post Emily! I am proud of you for coming out to yourself and being strong enough to come out to other people too! I know first hand that it is not the simplest thing to do. You are so right when you say you are your biggest critic, especially considering the lack of LGBT representation when we were younger and figuring ourselves out! Great post! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, insightful messages, good use of media, and an overall positive message. I’m glad you shared this with us and I’m very happy to hear that our school seems to be very accepting. Great work!
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